Previously Recorded...

3 Strategies To Focus On (And 1 Hidden Mistake To Avoid)

Includes Strategies & Tools For: Increasing Motivation, Knowing What To Do Next, Reducing Stress & Having Difficult Conversations


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Where To Start & What To Focus On

Learn what to focus on, where to start & what to avoid in this 8 week course that gives you clarity, confidence & calm.

Only $197

Course Includes

365 Day Money Back Guarantee

Live Q&A Calls 2x weekly

Access For Life On Any Modern Device

Intended Audience

Parents & Caregivers

Works Best With Kids Aged


If you are overwhelmed by the sheer number of things to try, frustrated and jaded because nothing you've tried has worked or just plain confused, this course is for you. Instead of focusing only on fixing the problems (Step 7), we will lead you through the 6 pre-steps to do BEFORE you start helping your son or daughter become unstuck. By taking this more strategic approach (based in the latest science and our experience of both living with Asperger's and doing this work for over half a decade), you'll come away equipped with a toolbox so that you can handle any situation.

We'll take you by the hand and lead you through the process of identifying the real problem, making sure you have the emotional capacity to handle the problem, and equipping you with a new skill set that goes beyond using force & manipulation so that you and your family will finally get unstuck.

This course is a hybrid live & recorded, 8 week course, designed for parents & families of people on the autistic spectrum (diagnosed or not). Each week, you'll receive a recorded lesson & discussion, that covers both the high level strategy & theory, as well as nuts & bolts examples & situations so that you know exactly what to do and how to do it. Feel free to go through the lesson at your own pace, you have access to it for life.

Then, every Wednesday & Friday, you'll have the opportunity to participate in a live Q&A phone session with your fellow students and the AE Staff. This is your chance to get clarification, help with your specific challenges and learn from others. We'll send out the recording to those calls once they are completed.

Overview Of Topics Covered

Meltdowns & Overwhelm - What to do in the moment, what to say to help them calm down, and what to avoid doing at all costs

Perspectives & Problem Solving - How to know when there is a problem, when to push, and when to let go

Understanding Defense Mode - Why do they get shut down and withdraw, and what can you do about it?

Building Relationships & Trust - The 4 part plan to repair broken trust & strengthen relationships

Tools For Talking - Simple conversations & strategies to get through & finally be heard

Creating A Solid Plan - What To focus on moving forward, and what to do when things go wrong

Course Outline

Week #1: Get Clarity

"Before you climb the ladder to success, make sure it's propped up against the right wall"

Before we even start to think about getting past the obstacles that are in our way, and dealing with the problems that life gives us, it is very, VERY important to make sure we are clear on what specific actions we are taking, what we are optimizing for, and why.

For example: Say your kid has a meltdown every time they sit down to do homework at the kitchen table. If we assume that they are just being willingly defiant, then our actions are going be focused on quelling defiance. However,  if it turns out that homework is an issue because they are overwhelmed by the smell of the recently re-painted the kitchen, then our response will be vastly different.

Before we start solving the problem, we have to first make sure we truly understand it. If we continue to act on the assumption of willful defiance when the problem is paint fume overwhelm (or anything else), then we end up making the problem worse, not better.

Week #2: Get Aligned

"Do or do not, there is no try" - Master Yoda

Once we are clear on where we are going and what we are optimizing for, it is time to make sure that we aren't accidentally sabotaging the process through conflicting desires & intents.

Often, when people fail at this step, its because they have a conflict between their outer desire and intent and their inner desire and intent. For example, let’s say there is a parent whose 25 year old son lives in the basement and plays video games all day. On one hand, they want their child to become independent and move out... but on the other hand, they might be terrified of the possibility that their child might face catastrophic failure, so...  they tend to unconsciously sabotage the progress they make so that they don't need to face the discomfort of changing the status quo.

This is the biggest block we see people have, and it is a sneaky little bugger too, because it can often be invisible. So in this week, we'll work through aligning your intent to make sure that you don't get stuck in this trap of wanting two different things.

Week #3: Get Understanding

"If I had an hour to solve a problem, I'd spend 55 minutes determining the right question to ask, and 5 minutes solving the problem."

People do the best they can with the emotional capacity they have. Thats the core understanding of this week. We'll look at the science of Emotional Resource Theory & Defense Mode, understand the biological basis for fear, stress & overwhelm, and then delve deep into motivation & capacity issues.

You'll know when to step in, when that action turns into enabling, and learn about our simple framework for knowing how & when to motivate someone on the spectrum.

Week #4: Build The Relationship

"Before you can move someone from point A to point B, they must feel completely heard and understood at point A"

Now its time to build trust. To feel heard. To talk (and more importantly) listen. Truly listen. This is the step where we build (and sometimes mend) relationships. Where we follow the specific recipe for building trust, and where we demonstrate our caring in ways that get through to the other person. And most importantly, where we avoid common relationship pitfalls in order to stay on track, stay focused, and stay calm, confident & clear.

Week #5: Sit Down & Talk

"In the history of the world, no one has ever been calmed down by being told to calm down"

At the end of the day, rationalizing & talking with people who are currently overwhelmed & stressed isn't a good way to go about instigating change. However, at the same time, some conversations just need to happen! So how do you have those conversations in a productive way?

This week’s focus is all on a simple conversational flow that acknowledges and works WITH someones overwhelm and emotional capacity, instead of against it, so you can actually move forward.

Week #6: Now You Take Action

"Once you know what you are optimizing for, have aligned your intents & built trust, THEN you can act"

First, we'll co-create a plan together, using all the tools you've learned in the previous weeks. Then, using that plan, we'll help you take action. Consistent, dependable action. Don't worry! We'll be there guiding you every step of the way. We'll show you what to expect, what to focus on, and most importantly, how to make sure you have enough emotional capacity to be able to follow through on a regular basis.

Week #7: Course Correction & Problem Solving

"Adjustments need to always be made in the context of the values, resource limitations and optimizations of the moment"

What do you do when things go wrong? How do you course correct? Instead of acting without a plan, we'll ensure you have the tools, strategies & scripts you need so that when things go wrong, you'll be ready.

And we'll also show you how to think through the problems & stuck points you face, and show you how to adjust your actions when necessary.

Week #8: "Yeah, but" and "What if?"

"Instead of focusing on the specific how to, focus on the patterns to use"

This is our "catch-all" week for everything we didn't cover before. Includes guidance on addictions (like video games), boundaries (how to say no and enforce it.. and when not to), and enabling. We'll also cover other tough questions the group has brought up that deserve a little bit more time and attention.

Enroll In "Where To Start & What To Focus On"

Learn what to focus on, where to start & what to avoid in this 8 week course that gives you clarity, confidence & calm.

Only $197

Course Includes

365 Day Money Back Guarantee

Live Q&A Calls 2x weekly

Access For Life On Any Modern Device

Intended Audience

Parents & Caregivers

Works Best With Kids Aged


Common Questions

Which portions of the course are live and which are recorded?

Each week we'll send you 1 recorded lecture, which is yours to keep and something you can watch & listen to at your own pace. Then every Wednesday at 4:45 PM Pacific Time & Friday at 10 AM Pacific Time for the length of the 8 week course, we'll invite you to join us for a live Q&A session where you can call in and get your questions answered by the AE Staff, and hear from others going through the course.

Can I access the course on more than 1 device?

Absolutely! You get access for life on as many devices as you'd like.

What happens if I can't make that weeks class?

No problem! You get access to the entire course for life, so you are welcome to go at your own pace. Q&A calls happen every Wednesday & Friday, and the recordings will be sent to you after.

If I'm outside the US, can I still access the course?

Yes! This course is available to anyone that has an internet connection.

Can I download the course materials?

Yes you can.